"I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me and heard my cry for help." Psalm 40:1
Sometimes we look at life through the wrong lens. We see it as centered around us and our joy. We think that just because we can't see it, God isn't working. If I have learned anything in the last two years it's that I am not the center of the universe. My joy is not of this world. God is working even in the midst of the deepest pain. Maybe I can't convince you that it's true, but I can share specific examples where I have seen God work impossible painful things into marveously beautiful paintings.
My mom has been sick for nearly eight months now. We have been in the States seeking answers for the past four. Today we celebrate five years living in Guatemala. It is incredibly difficult to be in the States while my heart is in Guate. It isn't easy to see my mom in such intense pain. It hurts to see my friends struggling. I want so badly to be back home.
However, looking back on everything that has come from these trials, I wouldn't change a thing... seriously, nothing. Writing this, my heart is full of joy and my eyes of tears. I can't explain the intense joy and sadness I feel. But that's the beauty of God. The joy that I have in Him is much deeper than any happiness the world can offer.
I know I've said it before, but the greatest blessing that God has given me (apart from salvation and my family) is the group of friends who have quickly become family. This past week I was blessed with the opportunity to visit Guate and spend the entire week with everyone there. I was able to have some deep conversations. Some ended in tears and others in laughter. Even after being apart for so long, in the middle of deep pain and sorrow, we trust that we can share our struggles honestly. I don't have to be someone I'm not with them. Anytime we debate different topics, we end by deciding to seek what God's word says about it.
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| Last night with the Gringo team |
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| Movie Time |
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| Team day to Panajachel |
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| We survived the movie! |
Leaving this week was hard because I didn't know when I'd be back. But after much prayer, God helped me trust Him. Several times this week I found myself smiling for absolutely no reason. I couldn't stop it either! These friendships go deeper than just physical appearance or similar interests. Our friendships are based in a mutual love for Christ. However, with deep love also comes deep pain. I hurt when they hurt and they hurt when I hurt. That's the beauty of it. "If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it" (1 Corinthians 12:26).
Carrying one another's burdens never feels like work when deep love is involved. It just feels natural.
In the last two weeks it feels like everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. We had car problems, sicknesses, a dog bite, a water heater fall, delays and cancellations. Sometime during the week the song "See a Victory" seemed to become our anthem. The lyrics were fitting for the spiritual battle we were in. "I'm not backing down from any giant 'cause I know how this story ends... I'm gonna see a victory for the battle belongs to You Lord... You take what the enemy meant for evil and You turn it for good." We saw many victories this week. We saw fruit in a place that has not seen spiritual fruit in ten years. We saw medical care provided when we needed it. We saw our own hearts change. I praise the Lord that even though we are all facing our own personal issues at home, we can still praise the Lord because our God will never fail. He knows only how to triumph.
I learned a lot this week. I can't explain it and I'm still processing. I saw God moving. It reminded me that even when I don't see it, He is moving. I just need to be still and know that He is God. Being molded into His image is a painful process. But one day I'll look back and praise Him for what He was doing when I felt alone. So, why wait? I can go ahead and praise Him in the storm for what I know He will do in the future. I'll praise Him in this storm.
